Sunday, January 8, 2012

right now.

I'm currently cuddled up on my couch in my new apartment, window breeze is blowing my fly-aways everywhere.  The washer clunks and clangs helping me fade in and out of a cat nap as I decide to wake up and enjoy the simplicity of Sundays, while listening to Jonsi. I don't know what it is about Jonsi but every time I hear his music I go back to a fog of memories a couple years ago. Being 19, feeling so infinite..discovering what love was...thinking it would never end. Believing I knew everything life had to offer, everything was in my hands and understood in my head. Playing on railroad tracks, roadtrips in the passenger seat to who knows where--stamping my toe prints hoping they would never get erased, dancing my life away to MGMT, singing my heart out to Bright Eyes, I hear the blurred lyrics and it takes me back to an innocence I will never have returned. A dream to me now, was my reality and I truly believed stories such as Where The Wild Things Are, existed and weren't just child tales.

It is always music that does this to me. I could hear a song in a store, on the radio, or in passing and there I am. right. back. to that time in my life. I am unaware of my surroundings during these moments of reminisce.  My attendance is lost in the setting around me as thoughts become actual presence to my gaze.

I enjoy this 'not-so-typical imagination' most of the time until my name is called, my stare is interrupted, or my brain reminds my heart to stop thinking.

My reality, now, is filled with nonstop occurances of happiness. Most would look at my pictures and assume I live the dream. Although I do live in a place nicknamed Paradise, every place has it's downfalls. I have chosen in 2012 to take the good from my past years; memories, cities I've lived, experiences and people that have impacted me whether negative or positive and shape this year into a better me.

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