Monday, October 25, 2010


to get inside my head

click here

you can also click to listen to a few songs by the lovely Taylor Swift

i love my friends who understand me soo well. it's so hard to explain my feelings especially when i'm on these dumb meds! but there is ALWAYS someone there to pick me up. whether its physically, emotionally or mentally, i have it. thank you
mommy & daddy you are amazing.
amazing. perfect
mom you don't understand what those late-night, calming talks, tickles, stories and giggles do for me.
daddy you don't understand how your smile, positive thoughts, foot massages, and constant reminder of how much you love your little girl do for me.
i know no matter how much i repeat "i HATE this, i want MY life back, this HURTS, that hurts" nothing is going to change unless i change my attitude and outlook on life.
i know my reasoning for being home at this time in my life.
i never understood the urge and "need" to move home after only 2 years of college.. leaving all of my best friends, my education, a boyfriend, and the most spiritual/clean atmosphere a college student could experience.

melanoma skin cancer stage 3 was found in a mole on my body about a month ago after a visit to my dermatologist. & after many trips to the Dallas Hospital, MRI & PET scans, i.v's, shots, injections and two surgeries I now have to prepare myself for a a little over a month of what is called Alpha Interferon, a form of Chemotherapy. I have to do this because for many years I used tanning beds and spent a lot of time in the sun. I developed a mole and unfortunately the mole became cancerous and spread to my lymph nodes.
for those of you who are wondering if I am scared...
the answer is yes.
for those of you who are wondering how I stay positive..let me introduce you to a few things in my life:
jesus christ
care packages(;
LDS religion

for those of you who are wondering the commonly asked question "will you lose your hair?"
I do not have an answer for you..nor do I want to know the answer. My side effects will be different from others. Everyone is effected differently. Google it. I will not go through radiation treatments.
but please if you do partake in prayer, Please pray for my family
and ALSO know that I will beat this, no matter how hard it gets.
my dad promises me every. single. day.

they don't tell you everything in the stories in the magazines ladies and gents
they also don't tell you this when you "sign" that waiver at the tanning salon.
whether this effects you or not... I do not want to be the one that says ""

MY STORY WILL BE TOLD. pictures on the look out


  1. Just bawling right now. You're so amazing.
    I know you will. I love you sis

  2. This is just a speck of sand, in the beach that is your life, baby.

  3. love love you. and your taste in music. sitting in your car last day of last semester, who knew THIS would be your now? You are strong. You're being prepared for great blessings. You got this:)

  4. haha my taste in music, life,food,thoughts and men has changed soo much(: and i love it. i also loved holding your hand that night...seriously sisters. i miss being roomies SO bad. & summer much lovin

    laura- youre SO right. speck of the sand at the beach (PLANET TAN) that the sun(tanning booth) HATED hahahaah ily see you SO soon!

    monica-you know i feel the same towards you. and i will, i will beat this and cancer will get some sh*tty revenge from ME...sorry there's still a little crazy brit in meeee.

  5. I cannot believe how strong you are! It seriously is so inspiring! I can't help but continuously stalk your blog just to hear about the progress and your attitude toward everything going on. So amazing! Stay strong and have faith!