Tuesday, March 30, 2010

i like this.

'What am I doin’? What am I doin’?
Oh, yeah, that’s right, I’m doin’ me
I’m doin me
I’m livin’ life right now, mayne

And this what I’ma do ’til it’s over
‘Til it’s over
But it’s far from over'

takin in back a little to my rap/r&b -music- obsessed days.
i did, think i was some what gangster.
daily life revolved around downloading underground rap and finding it before everyone else. then hearing those songs on the radio some 6 months later made me feel on top of things. HA

life changes so much in so little time.
I reflected on this thought a lot through out the day today.

My opinions, feelings, and thoughts are so completely and utterly different now then they were, even, 5 months ago. Whether change is a good or bad thing I am starting to understand it more and more everyday. I am starting to accept it and some what enjoy it. Without change there would be no growth. Physically, emotionally, and most definetly spiritually.

To be honest, less than a year ago I was a whole different Brit.
I was confused, lost, and considered myself a brick wall.
I really told myself every day. "You are a brick wall. Do not let anyone in. No one will ever understand you fully." I basically put a front up, but somehow stilllll was ME.
it worked then.

I do not know if it was a certain person or event that finally struck me to get out of that phase, but thanks GOODNESS it's over. It's not even that I was acting i just felt that I had to be that person.

But in all seriousness I am developing a gratitude for change. It has helped me become a stronger person. I look forward to it now. I am excited for the future and what bends and bumps in the road I may hit. Like everyone has been told more than once in their life, "everything happens for a reason"

It truly does. And Not even always in a religious sense. Whatever obstacles we come across, we are given them because there will be a day when we look upon that obstacle and say "that really helped me grow in one way or another" or "that was the hardest thing I have ever been through. but I now know I can handle anything now"

I haven't had that experience yet. but I will be ready for it.

change of subject...

I miss my sister. BAD
The earthquake that hit a few months ago was 52 miles from her home.
What was thought to be the worst feelings to be woken up to became one of the best feelings to fall asleep to. As soon as I heard these horrifying words, I uncontrollably dropped to my knees.
After a while of prayer I felt the most calming and relaxed feeling a sister could ever feel when knowing her sister was in danger.

Later that morning good news arrived that Paige, along with the rest of missionaries were all safe and unharmed.
The Lord watches over his children. My faith in prayer grew 329517813845 X(times) stronger that day.

It shouldn't take a tragic incident for us to kneel in prayer. I realized this after that day. I also told myself to quit asking. Start thanking.

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