one year ago from today I was crying over a trashcan full of hair.
my own hair that had fallen out in chunks.
every shower taken filled the bath tub full to my shins
the hair-clogged drain, I didn't dare clear out for the fear of such a sight
every 20 year-old girl cherishes, her most prized possession, her femininity
her form of art, her go-to when changing up her look, her security blanket
one thing we all take for granted on "bad-hair-days" or "color-gone-wrongs"
but when its going, it's gone.
I suffered from every side effect of my Chemotherapy
besides hair-loss up to this point.
it was happening.
no matter how much biotin I overdosed on,
no matter how much caster oil I painted on my roots at night
no matter how many clip in extensions I concealed
reality was: the long, healthy, beachy-blonde hair I had been desiring and growing for years was
no longer an option.
I lost about half a head of hair, because fortunately enough, I didn't have to do radiation.
a long year of struggling with my hair has thankfully past
& every day I am greeted with new baby spiral curls of dark brown hair...what?
as if 8 scars on my body weren't enough, these baby-hairs are a reminder of what I have gone through to get where I am today.
A reminder to always wear sunscreen, to know that pale = beautiful, healthy, natural.
(this being VERY hard to remember when surrounded by bronzed, dark-skinned, gorgeous bodies!)
A reminder that, for a month straight, I cried myself to sleep in pain and
fear of the next Chemo injection.
A reminder that life is not all about good hair, clear skin, a hot body.
Life is about today.
Today is life, a blessing we are given by our Heavenly Father, that we need to realize more often and stop taking it for granted.
My realization: I wrote this out, more for myself to remember than for others to read and realize.