Tuesday, January 31, 2012


one year ago from today I was crying over a trashcan full of hair.
my own hair that had fallen out in chunks.
every shower taken filled the bath tub full to my shins  
the hair-clogged drain, I didn't dare clear out for the fear of such a sight

every 20 year-old girl cherishes, her most prized possession, her femininity
her form of art, her go-to when changing up her look, her security blanket
one thing we all take for granted on "bad-hair-days" or "color-gone-wrongs"

but when its going, it's gone.

I suffered from every side effect of my Chemotherapy 
besides hair-loss up to this point.

it was happening.
no matter how much biotin I overdosed on, 
no matter how much caster oil I painted on my roots at night
no matter how many clip in extensions I concealed

reality was: the long, healthy, beachy-blonde hair I had been desiring and growing for years was 
no longer an option.

I lost about half a head of hair, because fortunately enough, I didn't have to do radiation.
a long year of struggling with my hair has thankfully past
& every day I am greeted with new baby spiral curls of dark brown hair...what?
as if 8 scars on my body weren't enough, these baby-hairs are a reminder of what I have gone through to get where I am today.
A reminder to always wear sunscreen, to know that pale = beautiful, healthy, natural. 
(this being VERY hard to remember when surrounded by bronzed, dark-skinned, gorgeous bodies!)
A reminder that, for a month straight, I cried myself to sleep in pain and 
fear of the next Chemo injection. 
A reminder that life is not all about good hair, clear skin, a hot body.
Life is about today. 
Today is life, a blessing we are given by our Heavenly Father, that we need to realize more often and stop taking it for granted.

My realization: I wrote this out, more for myself to remember than for others to read and realize.


  1. You make me remember what life is supposed to be about and how silly my problems are. Love you brit

  2. tears on my cheeks when i read my sisters feelings-
    i love u.

  3. Funny timing that you posted about this. I started working on a blog post about you today. You're perfect to me and loved by so many. Smileeee

  4. Britt...you are braver than you would ever give yourself credit for. I spend so much time with Aunt Karen-admiring how wonderful she looks in her hats, big earrings and pride. Yes...she wears her pride right along with her hats and scarves. You two are both such an inspiration for me. You are MY reminder that sunscreen is a MUST...my reminder that bravery gets you further than vanity...my reminder of the deep love I have for my nieces and nephews and family...my reminder that someone much younger than me can teach me more about life than I ever thought I already knew. Keep your brown streaks of new hair because they are a beautiful thing! I love you so much!!!