I cannot wait until lovess.blogspot.com has it's ONE year! & then I get to print it off to make a Brit's- book- of- first- year- blogging (;
I looked back on all of my old posts last night. It's so crazy to my mind how much my writing, life plans, my heart, and thought process has change..just from March until September in the same year. It's crazy to be writing about "the love of my life" and our plans and posting only pictures of me with him. It's weird that I was thinking of going to fashion school. or Utah.
It's weird to think I was someone else's. And now...
I am that without the apostrophe s.
I am someone else.
I don't really know how I feel about it either -- part of the time
I know that love is beautiful. It is something else. But it does something ELSE to the human beings' mind, heart, and body. It does something great..but when it is lost, whether through death, divorce, or a break up it does something disastrous and we are supposed to know how to handle it & try and fix it. We are supposed to know the cure in order to move on with life. And to be honest there is a different 'cure' for every person.
For some, its just time.
for others, I guess it takes another person,
for some it's disappearing.
for other's its substance, or drugs.
for some it's religion. and faith. and prayer
and for some, I do believe there is nothing you can try. there are people who never ever get over love of another. or their first love. Because they don't know what to do. They haven't been taught. They've never been through it. They don't understand or comprehend a life after this life. They can't handle the loneliness. they hold onto that 'love' for years.
It's so sad to me...
We control our emotions. We control how the day is going to flow. We have been given agency. We have our own beliefs and standards. We own our heart. No one else does. even though at times, it may feel like someone else holds the key to it. We own the baseboard. and the door and The home as well.
just some thoughts. I don't get much thinking/posting thought time much any more. But this is just the thought of the night. I don't even know where I am going with this.
I know that I have been blessed though.
I know not to live off 'what could of been'
I know that lyrics are great. movies are great. books are amazing.
but people are miraculous.
Alone is a non-existence. We always have someone.
Lonely is beautiful. Listening to our own thoughts. hearing our own breath.
Not having another person, can, at some times be a blessing in disguise.
& right now Alone time has come at a perfect time